Silence in the making
I’m going to go out and be alone for a few days and so I’ve decided to take them time and go silent for the 5 days.
Well I’m gonna try to go 5 days anyways. Do longer than the 3 I barely lasted last year.
But to do this almost on the anniversary exactly of when I was in Thailand and really dove into my spiritually with in person guidance and it was a turning point in my journey. Even though it was hard and I broke silence and probably a few rules. I enjoyed the peace. The lack of responsibility besides taking care of my mental health. I even fasted with the monks! Meditating 3 times a day or more. Not eating. Walking in nature. No phone no service just breathing sleeping and yoga was my day.
And my brain slowed down. My brain still worried and wondered but I was able to feel was disconnecting was for me. Finding that peace and place that was for me crated by me. And now is my base or anchor when meditating.
So this time I get to do it alone. Wasn’t my original plan. I thought my long distance boyfriend was going to come and spend time but plans changed and now seems like the perfect opportunity.
But this time I asked “ am I retreating?” And I “running away?” Because I feel like I’m trying to break a loop but create some tradition with myself. Instead I ask myself “wasn’t this meant to be?” “What a more perfect time? And place?”
So 5 days away I’m going to take for myself because I want too. Not because I need too or because I feel it’s best. Because I choose to take this time for myself.